Del Martin Made It That Far
Del Martin, left, married Phyllis Lyon in 2008, after 55 years together.
Some stories you cover, and others you live.
At my house, we often talk about whether and when to get married, and how. That’s because I’m a woman, and so’s my partner. We were married by our Episcopal priest eight years ago. Under the law, we’re single. We’re in our final months of waiting to see whether New York lawmakers will grant us the right to marry. Already, the state recognizes same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. We want to marry here, at Brooklyn Borough Hall.
Del Martin lived this story, too. She had married Phyllis Lyon back in 2004, the first couple in San Francisco’s protest of California state law. In the ongoing legal fight, the court threw that marriage out. But on June 16, Martin and Lyon married again, this time with the state’s full force and blessing. And thus comes this news:
Martin died at a San Francisco hospital Wednesday morning with her wife by her side.
She was 87 years old.
Californians will vote in November on a measure to ban gay marriages again. Whatever happens, Martin made it all the way to hers.
-- Filed by Laura Conaway
August 28th, 2008 at 10:43 am
this story makes me vascillate between joy and anger and sadness. joy that this woman was loved, and was able to marry her partner at long last. anger that this is even up for debate. sadness that you two would have to travel and marry elsewhere unless your state gets it’s butt in gear and let you marry at home, where you and everyone else should be allowed to do so. breaks my heart, really. love is love…we should all be so lucky.
August 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I didn’t know much about Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon until 2004, when Mayor Newsom approved same-sex marriages in SF, and these long-time activists were, by design, the first same-sex pair to be married in San Francisco. Goddammit, it shouldn’t have taken 4 more years for that to be legitimized in California, and goddammit, I’m angry that we’re still debating this at all, and that the Federal effort seems so far away.
But let us not rememer Del just for the act of getting married - that was just the last hurdle she cleared in her 50+ years of activism. She wrote over 40 years ago, “Nothing was ever accomplished by hiding in a dark corner. Why not discard the hermitage for the heritage that awaits any red-blooded American woman who dares to claim it?” And she and Phyllis have been living that life - we should all honor Del’s life by going out and doing the same.
(As an aside: as same-sex marriages become legal - and they will someday - then I may have to marry my girlfriend, since our domestic partnership benefits may become delegitimized as the field is levelling for all to get married. Ruh roh!)
August 28th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
You can always come to Canada Laura - hugs Rob
August 28th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I try to focus on the fact that the tide is turning for the better (I live in MA and really am proud of our Supreme Judicial Court), but it is hard not to be angry that this is still such a controversial thing for politicians to get behind. I do believe that NY will be added to the sane column fairly soon. On that day that does happen I’ll think of your family, Laura.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:47 am
And it looks like the same-sex marriage is going to stay legal in California. It appears to me as though the tide is finally changing. It’s about time.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
hadn’t heard that she had died. tried very hard not to cry at work… i feel privileged to have seen part of their story on TV when they got married.
love isn’t about gender and neither is marriage. keep holding your ground on what you want and know that there are lots of people out there that support you.